1. Motivation
  2. Self Help

The trap of comparison and what to do instead

Ever found yourself in a mess of emotions after seeing or hearing a happy news? On one hand, you’re super happy for the person, on the other, you’re wondering what you’re doing wrong in your own life and what you need to fix. It is very easy to get carried away with the success stories of others especially in the digital age we’re in. Easy to compare oneself with others. Easy to wish to have what they have or at the very least, what it looks like they have.  There are a lot of questions, like God when? Then the cycle begins, first it’s comparison, then jealousy then trying to replicate what’s seen and at last, frustration, frustration at not getting the wanted results. It’s hard. It’s rough, a deep hole you don’t want to find yourself in.

What to do instead?

Remember these tips next time:

  1. Own your own story: everyone is on an individual journey, yes it is aided by other people in our lives but ultimately, it still is an individual path. Yours might look nothing like the next person’s and that’s perfectly okay. Own your story. Need help figuring out what exactly your story is?  this post might help on how best to do that http://self discovery
  2. There is no “one size fits all” model to life: it’s easy to get stuck in social norms and believe certain things have to be done at certain times or they become impossible. Truth is there is really no set timetable for life, don’t get pressured to do what others are doing when they are doing it just because you want to be part of the crowd. Don’t be afraid to stand alone and stand tall. It’s all about the right timing and the one for others need not be same for you as well.
  3. Focus on yourself:  Do all you have to do because you need and/or want to and not just to look like someone else or because someone else did it

[bctt tweet=”Admire someone else’s beauty without questioning yours – Brooke Hampton” username=”conversehouse”]

4. Avoid unhealthy comparison: The only person you really should compare yourself with is your past self, strive to keep growing. There are 3 types of comparison : comparison to similar others, which is usually done for with an accuracy goal “what am I doing right/wrong?”, there’s upward social comparison which is usually for an aspiration goal and lastly, downward social comparison which is for a self enhancement goal.

So you see, as humans, we naturally want to do one of these three almost all the time but don’t make the mistake of comparing yourself to or hating those you should be learning from.  Celebrate the wins of others and even as you wait your turn, pick whatever lesson is for you and keep grinding

[bctt tweet=”Don’t go comparing yourself to those you should be learning from” username=”conversehouse”]

Hope this serves as an encouragement to you, if it was, kindly share with others! As always, I’d love to hear from you so what other helpful tips do you recommend? 


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Comments to: The trap of comparison and what to do instead
  • February 23, 2021

    Very good write up 😘😘

    • February 23, 2021

      Thank you Ezekiel! Got any more tips on how to fight comparison?

  • February 23, 2021

    It’s expedient that we keep in mind that, the cycle of self comparison is a vicious one. Sooooo, why get into the loop then🤷

    • February 23, 2021

      Ikr! It’s just one bad habit that’s easy to pick up so it’s important to always be conscious of it. Thanks for reading!

  • February 23, 2021

    People need to actually understand that what most people flaunt are their successes…people rarely show off their failures. Don’t compare yourself to what people show off, there are failures, setbacks, frustrations beneath the successes you see.

    Also, rather than compare, use what you see as a tool for inspiration and motivation.

    Great piece Dammy

    • February 24, 2021

      That is so true and such a great reminder as well. Thank you!


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